At some point in therapy, many people find themselves thinking:

“I don’t really want to do this.”
“This feels awkward.”
“I don’t know if this will help.”

That does not mean therapy is not working. Often, it means you are standing right at the edge of growth.

The question is not “Does this feel easy?”
The question is: Does this feel safe enough to try something new?

Here are some signs you are with the right therapist, even when therapy stretches you.

A good therapist never forces you into an exercise. They may encourage you to try something because they believe it could help, but you always have the right to say no.

If your therapist reminds you that you are in control, thanks you for your honesty, and works with you rather than over you, that is a sign of safety.

If you say, “I’m not sure about this,” a skilled therapist does not argue or persuade. They get curious.

They want to understand what feels uncomfortable, whether you have had a difficult experience before, and what your fears or concerns are. Feeling heard in your reluctance is part of the work.

Therapy is not about doing strange exercises for no reason. A good therapist connects everything back to your goals and your values.

If they explain why something might help you move toward the life or relationships you care about, you are in collaborative therapy, not random therapy.

Not everyone likes visualisation. Not everyone feels calm focusing on their breath. Not everyone responds to the same techniques.

A good therapist adjusts both the approach and the language so it makes sense to you. Therapy should feel human and understandable, not filled with jargon.

If something does not fit, they adapt. They do not insist.

Trying something new can feel awkward, vulnerable, or uncertain. A good therapist helps you see that discomfort is not proof you are doing it wrong.

Sometimes discomfort means you are stepping out of an old pattern, trying something different, or building a new skill. Growth rarely feels like staying exactly the same.

In good therapy, you are not being fixed. You are exploring together.

You should feel included in decisions, free to ask questions, and able to say, “This doesn’t feel right.” That sense of teamwork is a strong indicator you are in the right place.

Take a moment to pause and check in with yourself.

Think about a recent moment in therapy that felt uncomfortable, awkward, or challenging.

Now gently reflect on these questions:

When I expressed hesitation, did I feel listened to?
Did my therapist seem curious about my experience rather than trying to convince me?

Did I feel I had a choice?
Did I feel free to say “not today” or “I’m not ready” without fear of judgement?

Did I understand why we were doing this?
Could I see how this might connect to something important in my life?

How did I feel in my body afterward?
Even if it was emotional or tiring, did I feel supported, respected, and safe overall?

If the answers are mostly yes, the discomfort may be part of growth.

If the answers are mostly no, it may be worth talking openly with your therapist about how the process is feeling for you. A good therapist will welcome that conversation.

The right therapist does not just help you feel comfortable. They help you feel safe enough to grow.

Sometimes the moment you want to avoid is the moment that opens something important